The Case of the Missing Calf

The other night I was checking cows as usual. Out of no where I heard a calf bellaring. Confused, I set out to find the calf and hopefully help it. I thought I heard the calf coming from the barn, so I head over that direction. And there, outside the barn, between the wall and the stock tank, was the little grafted twin calf, screaming bloody murder. He has been inside the barn with his new mama because she was having a hard time accepting him completely. The barn doesn't have a real door, we just close it with a swinging gate. So it appears that the calf somehow escaped his pen, crawled under the barn gate, then got himself stuck between the stock tank and the barn. So I crawled in next to him, lead him to the gate, and pushed him under the gate. Then I went around to the other door into the barn to investigate. By the time I went around and got into the barn, the little bugger had escaped under the gate again. So I went back out and ushered him back into the barn, again. This time I went through the gate so that he couldn't sneak past me, again. When I turned back to close the gate, my brother's horse was right in my face trying to see what was going on. He frightened me and I think I about had a heart attack. So I closed the gate and headed inside. All of the lights were off in the barn, which is strange because we usually leave them on at night if cows are in there. As I looked around, I realized that the calf's mama was also loose. Now, this cow isn't exactly the gentlest cow. To be frank, she scares the crap out of me. I tried to get the lights to work to no avail. Turns out all of the bulbs were burnt out. So there I was, in the pitch black, holding back an upset calf, and trying to avoid a crazy cow. Unfortunately, the rest of my family was sleeping so I knew I would have to safely get the cow and calf back into their pen alone. While standing over the calf so he wouldn't escape, I basically pushed the mother cow back into the pen. As soon as she got in she turned around and tried to come back out. The only way out would be over me, so I'm happy to say that she changed her mind. So then I pushed the little one into his pen with the cow. Do I know how they managed to open the gate to their pen? No idea. I guess I'll never know. Anyway, all was well again and I managed to do it all by myself. Last night I even got a break from night calving because my brothers said I deserved it for doing so well. So basically the moral of the story is: I rock.